There is some wonderful, positive writing to be found on the subject of Aspergers Syndrome (AS)/Neurotypical(NT) relationships. Some are from the AS perspective and some from the NT, some from a parenting viewpoint, some from teens.
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself …
Muddling Through Asperger’s: Excellent blog about being married to someone with with AS. With children.
Positive Support for Women with Asperger Spouses Julie writes from the perspective of an NT wife and mother of a young woman with autism.
Gavin Bollard’s blog gives an excellent account of life from all angles
Musings of an Aspie: One woman’s thoughts about life on the spectrum which covers AS and marriage, AS and motherhood and adult diagnosis.
My Aspie Wife: A husband’s perspective.
A life less ordinary A well written blog from the perspective of an lady with Asperger’s Syndrome on parenting, working, worrying, science, writing, worrying (again!) and autism.
Aspie Girl Amanda, a full time writer and tutor, writes for children and adults and blogs about her life as an Aspie.
The name of the Rose Beautifully written blog by the Mum of a teenage girl with AS. Donate
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Meeting and what happened next
I was on the rebound from a witty, charming, commitment-phobe; intelligent, but slippery. I met someone who was not witty nor charming but was intelligent and, critically, appeared interested in me, my interests, and was - I can only put it - good.
He was fun to be with; we shared interests (as we still do) and he appeared to have a strong sense of what was right and wrong and no sense of wanting to exploit me. A lot of this is true, but I would add the word “consciously” before exploit. We married quickly. I then spent a lot of the next few years wondering if I was the typical over emotional demanding wife. Perhaps I was becoming unbalanced – and indeed I did become obsessive. Statements such as "But of course I love you. I shouldn’t need to say it. I married you" were common.
I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t understand why I might want to see my friends. Or give dinner parties – which sent him in to appalling stress. It wasn’t the normal bloke-ish refusal to get involved in a woman’s emotional world, it was a refusal to get in any world. He didn’t seem to have a concept of how to behave in public; he bored people (unless they shared the same interests) at parties; his sartorial sense was a joke. His mother, I discovered, had helped him buy all his clothes. He just didn’t notice.
There are advantages to being with someone who never notices anything: you can get away with a lot of spots, greasy hair, scruffy clothes etc. But it was insidiously undermining. It didn’t matter to him. And he seemed to expect me to take the place of his mother. I spent a lot of those first years screaming "I’m not your [insert word of choice] mother."